Tag Archives: Birthday

A look back

A nice quiet Saturday filled with laughter and fun with my family defined the celebration of yet another year of life.  37 years.  It is remarkable to me when I start to realize the brevity of life.  I spent Saturday morning  reflecting with a nice cup of coffee on the front porch.  The blessings were too many to count, but I tried to thank God for all that I saw and heard.  In my normal prayer, I asked God to forgive me for my shortcomings (which also were far too many to speak of) and thanked him for the peace in my heart to know that He had already answered that prayer with Jesus Christ.  I prayed that God would shape me, even on this day, to be more like him.  To walk away from habitual struggles and sin and step into His light and drink from the living waters that quench my soul’s desires like nothing on this earth can.  When I lifted my eyes again, I started to let the idea of growing older sink in.  I never really understood what my parents were talking about when they spoke of the fast-paced life and how quickly we were all growing up, etc.  It seemed to take forever.  Today, I understand it with perfect clarity.  My daughter, who was born just yesterday…so it seems is nearly 4 ft tall and running as fast as she can toward adolescence and more.  Sometimes, I simply stare at her to keep from missing a major change.  Corbin is quickly turning into a young man.  He has filled out and I am watching him search for his place in this world.  It doesn’t seem like any time since I met his tiny face at just 6 weeks old.  Then my oldest…my graduate…my adult son.  Hunner is maturing every day and I know that a bright future is waiting for him to take hold of it.  All of this seemed to happen in the blink of an eye.  Through all of this reflection, I could feel the holy spirit working in my heart and I began to reflect on what has happened in the past 16 years since I gave my life to Christ.  Nothing will humble you more than when you reflect on w hat you have done for Christ, especially if you look at it through His sacrifice for me.  Try this “lens” on for size: Jesus Christ left perfection, took on a human body in a fallen world, suffered like any other human being, then went through a suffering that no one can fully appreciate at the hands of those charged with his Crucifixion.  Why?  What was He thinking?  He was thinking about me, sitting on my porch some 2000 years later.  He laid down his life so that I could have mine.  He doesn’t need me, he wants me.  He loves me.  Then I place that filter on how I repay that love and devotion.  Sobering, humiliated, and ashamed are all good ways to describe how this thought process makes me feel.  I have wasted a lot of precious time chasing my own desires and living just for this brief moment called life.

So, I am doing all that I can do on this morning.  All I have control over is how I choose to live my life from this day forward.  Looking back is a great thing to do.  I like to do it often so I don’t forget.  But more importantly, I know that I need to keep my eyes forward most of the time, and I need to keep my mind and heart on Christ so that each year that I am blessed to be able to wake up on my birthday, I can reflect and see that I grew in Christ, and that I tried to live for Him every single day he blessed me with.

Lord, today I commit to you.  All the time you bless me with from this moment on, may I use it wisely and always strive to bring glory to your name through my choices and actions.  I pray for your guidance and discipline in my life so that I can follow you and grow in you.  Thank you for the past 37 years of life.  Your love for me is endless and I pray that it will never be lost on me how much I  mean to you.  I pray that I can honor your love for me with a life of service to you.  – Amen